Get Out of the Vehicle!

It’s amazing what you’ll find when you Google “Zombie Skydiving”…

152 Days left until the Zombie Apocalypse…

With the world ending soon and all, I’ve been preaching over and over that we need to enjoy it while we are still here to enjoy it.  So that’s what I’ve been trying to do.  You know, we all have to cross off those infamous Bucket List items while we still can.  At the very least, it’s an incredible excuse to do the things we have always wanted to do “someday”. More importantly, I think that it is also a very good chance for us to all look back over everything that we have already accomplished and at all of the ways we have already lived.  A while back, I saw a blog on here that was titled the Anti-Bucket List.  In it, Sarah pointed out that we often forget to remember and appreciate all that we have already experienced.  She often hinted that it is more important than the experiences themselves.  She’s right too!  What point is there in experiencing anything if you’re only going to immediately move past it to the next big thing?  Anyway, she made a really interesting list of the 20 things she has done before the age of 20.  Seeing as how my birthday is in 30 days and I’ll be turning 30, it seemed only fitting to bring you “30 Things I’ve Done Before the Age of 30.”  So…..voila!!!  Here is the first one!…

The beautiful view from above Santa Cruz!!

So yeah, I went skydiving in June!  While these aren’t in any particular order, I figured I should start with this one since it was also my item to check off for June.  I have wanted to jump out of a perfectly good airplane for years.  I don’t think I ever really thought I would do it though.  It was one of those things where I had to say I would do it so I wouldn’t look like a big chicken.  I wanted to do it, but I don’t think I REALLY wanted to do it…if that makes any sense at all.  Anyway, I made pacts to jump with people I knew would never really do it either.  It was doubly safe that way!  As an added bonus, we could all look brave without really having to actually be brave haha…

Then I made the right deal with the wrong person–or maybe it’s the wrong deal with the right person–whatever the case, I made a deal with one of my very best friends that we would go skydiving as soon as we lost enough weight to be allowed to jump.  Again, I don’t really think I ever believed that we would be able to do that either.  Then I got involved in a Biggest Loser competition that my friend was running and I couldn’t help but start dropping pounds because I’m a bit of a sore loser.  No matter how much I lost, I wasn’t about to jump without my friend so I figured I was still safe–she has a health condition that makes it difficult for her to eat a lot of healthy foods.  However, fate had other plans and she also started to lose the weight.

Somehow, we ended up setting a loose date for our big jump in “June”.  I was supposed to fly home for a wedding anyway so it seemed like the perfect time.  I still didn’t really think we were actually going to do it though.  We started asking other people if they wanted to jump with us.  I was surprised by the number of people who initially emailed me saying that they had always wanted to jump.  I was not at all surprised when only one of those people was still interested once we had actually finalized the date.  Like I said, people have an amazing tendency to only be brave when they don’t think something is really going to happen.  I don’t blame them for it.  After all, I STILL didn’t think we were actually going to jump out of a plane.  I figured something would come up–something always does…right?…

Only this time it didn’t.  The next thing I knew, my dad had decided to come along too.  Then I started to maybe believe that we were actually going to jump out of a plane.  So I played along.  I had my friend set up our reservations.  I let them buy me a tutu…seriously?  A tutu???  It was almost like a bizarre sort of dream at that point.  Who actually jumps out of a plane wearing a tutu?  It’s crazy right?!  And it sounded dangerous too!  I kept thinking of all of these scenarios where the tutu would like fly up and get caught in the parachute mechanisms or something.   I totally even made my friend call to find out if it was okay to jump in a tutu.  When she told me that it was definitely okay, I knew that I had to be dreaming.  The person at Skydive Surf City had told my friend that people dress in all sorts of costumes–like Superman!  She also told her that some people even jump naked!  Naked?!?!?!?! Yeah, I definitely had to be dreaming…

I played along with the whole weird thing and let them buy me a purple tutu.  I played along in the couple of days before we were supposed to jump.  I…played along.  However, I really, really don’t think that I actually intended to jump.  Who does that?!  People don’t even jump out of planes that are crashing!! I mean really!!!


The morning of June 11th, my allergies were particularly bad.  They had been bothering me ever since I had landed in California.  Summer and pollen are not my friends.  So I had the brilliant idea to take a Claritin and a Benadryl.  It had worked wonders the night before!  So I took my pills without giving it another thought.  I was fine on the drive over, but as soon as we sat down to eat, I found myself practically falling asleep in my lunch.  I also felt like I was floating outside of my body.  It was the most bizarre experience I’ve had in ages.  I also think that I have it to thank for my decision to actually jump.  I don’t know that I would have done it otherwise.  I would have seen the pages and pages of disclaimers about death and I don’t think I would have been able to do it.  So yeah, I’m really glad I took them…because I’m really glad that I jumped.

There isn’t anything else like it in the world…and it isn’t really even that terrifying.  The door had fallen off of our plane that morning before we went up–that along should have been scary enough to make me stop, but it wasn’t.  I spent the ride up sitting next to that open door.  And it wasn’t scary at all.  It was weird for me because I really HATE planes.  I don’t like flying, I don’t like heights.  I think people belong on the ground.  But this was different.  I don’t know if it was because of the drugs or because I was strapped to someone who seemed to know what he was doing, but it didn’t bother me at all.  It was actually really nice to be able to look out over the ocean and search for sharks without having to peer through a grimy window.  It was like being surrounded by the definition of serenity.

I wasn’t even bothered by the fact that I would be leaving that plane momentarily.  Even then, I don’t think my brain actually believed that I was going to do it.  That realization didn’t come until he had me put my feet out over the wing.  If any part of it can be said to be terrifying, that was it.  There’s something about that moment of dangling that really gets to you.  The anticipation maybe?  Whatever it is, it’s over as quickly as it came on.  Once you’re out of the plane, there’s really no point in worrying about it anymore, right?  Besides, you don’t really have time to worry about it.  Freefalling at 120mph doesn’t really afford you that opportunity 😉  It doesn’t really give you much time to think at all actually.  You can feel though.  You can feel the wind rushing at you from every direction and whipping that crazy purple tutu against your skin.  You can feel your face morphing as your skin flaps around like something out of a Fun House mirror.  You can feel your ears popping along with the racing of your heart.  You feel alive…

And then it’s over.  The parachute opens before you really have even registered that you’re falling.  That part was painful.  The straps tug up against you and pull your bones into positions you didn’t know were even humanly possible.  That doesn’t matter though because you can finally catch your breath too.  And it’s amazing.  Gliding down out of the clouds is an out of this world experience.  I can’t even begin to describe it properly.  I don’t really think that anyone can, because it must be something completely different to each of us.  If I had to choose though, this anonymous quote comes pretty close, “If riding in an airplane is flying, then riding in a boat is swimming. If you want to experience the element, then get out of the vehicle.”  It’s simple and it’s definitely true too.  Yeah, I think that it certainly works!!  The only other thing I can say is that you definitely have to try it for yourself too!!  You won’t regret it at all.  After all, while maybe we don’t have wings and aren’t meant to fly, we are definitely meant to fall…

Sincerely Yours,

The Butcher of the Bard


This entry was posted in 30 Things I've Done Before the Age of 30, Countdown to the Zombie Apocalypse, Day to Day Circumstances, Down the Rabbit Hole, My Bucket List and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Get Out of the Vehicle!

  1. Sarah says:

    Wow, skydiving sounds terrifying but amazing… I’ll have to see if I can have ticked that one off in a decade’s time 😉 Glad you liked my post! Sarah 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s